Where you live is a major determining factor in what types of disasters you are likely to face. However there are some basic preparations you can make that will help you survive most natural and manmade disasters. Essentials such as food, water, and shelter will help you survive. Comfort items such as electricity and light will make survival less stressful. While there may not be a way to stop disasters from happening, prepared people will be in a better position to care for themselves and help others.
In order to minimize the loss of life, most towns and cities have created emergency plans. Sirens are placed in strategic locations to announce a major evacuation; the emergency broadcast system is in place in the event that power and electricity has been cut off. Most areas have a designated shelter as well as stockpiles of food, water and medicine.
At a minimum you can make sure you are familiar with the resources in your local area. The Red Cross is an excellent place to start gathering information relevant to your area. It is a good idea to be familiar with the State and local plans for emergencies likely to affect your area. It is an even better idea to take that information and develop your own plan.
If you are prepared for an emergency you won’t be caught in the long lines of hapless individuals who rush to the supermarket to stock up on food, water and other essentials. These include candles, batteries for the radio and the flashlight as well as fuel for the generator.
Areas subject to flooding, chemical spills, forest fires, and hurricanes should may require citizens to evacuate. In other areas you may be better off staying in place. Being prepared to do either is the best decision. To accomplish this you will need two sets of emergency supplies. One for a stay in place plan and another for a grab and go plan.
Most of the supplies you’ll need for either of these plans can be purchased at local stores. Another way to get the supplies and equipment you need is to shop online. These pages have the supplies you’ll need for both plans. Feel free to use them as a reference for cost comparison, or to order your supplies.
There are tons of resources to help you organize yourself and your family for emergency situations. In fact, I think there are too many. It is easy to become overwhelmed and not get anything done because you don’t know where to start. A great guide that I use and one that will take you step by step is a book called Making the Best of Basics. You can get this book at Amazon.com for around $27. This book is like having an encyclopedia of preparedness with the exception that it is organized in a way that allows you to build incrementally starting with the most important preparations.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Monday, January 11, 2010
Establishing a Commitment For Change- Getting Out of Debt
Establishing a Commitment For Change- Getting Out of Debt
By Ron DuBoisWhen was the last time that you stopped to visualize what your life would be like without debt? Take a moment before continuing on to visualize this scenario; your debt has all been paid off including your mortgage, you have begun to save and have accumulated wealth for your future financial goals and you are living without the constant worry of debt or monthly budgeting. To actualize this visualization, you must establish our reasons for financial change and make a personal commitment to take required action.
Establishing Your Reasons for Financial Change
The first step in the process of becoming debt free is to understand what your personal motivation for change is. If you are not motivated to make changes and willing to commit to the process, you will have trouble achieving the results that you are seeking.
Ask yourself the following questions to better understand what your level of personal commitment is to making this financial change:
• What will change within your life when you become debt free?
• If you did not have any debts, what financial goals would you save towards? Your future financial goals are a significant piece of your motivation for change.
• How committed are you to working through the process necessary to become debt free? Are you willing to do whatever it takes to work through the financial process of becoming debt free?
• How you will you feel if you don’t achieve your future financial goals? Or, how will it feel if you have to drastically reduce or change your financial goals?
• What obstacles may get in your way of achieving these financial goals?
To take the concept of personal commitment to financial change further, it is important to understand more fully what the consequences are of not becoming debt free and of not working towards achieving your personal financial goals. For so many of us, carrying a consistent balance on our loans or credit cards has become common practice. But, are we really aware of the financial, personal and health consequences we are causing for ourselves by carrying such debt?
Financial
How is carrying consumer debt balances affecting your financial health? Consumer debts can include credit cards, personal signature loans, home equity lines of credit, auto loans and your mortgage. Unlike other consumer debts, a portion of the annual interest that you are paying towards your home’s mortgage may be tax deductible. Even though you are potentially receiving some tax benefits for carrying a mortgage, paying this debt off quickly will reduce the overall amount of money that you pay towards your home as you will be reducing the total interest paid.
It is estimated that the average American has in excess of $6,000 in credit card debt and that this number is rising annually. Not only does rising debts increase our monthly payment requirements, but it increases the amount of total payments made towards the purchases over time due to the interest that each credit card company applies to our unpaid balances.
Health
Financial pressures can increase stress felt by the body. While most of experience stress on a daily basis from a variety of sources, most of us are not aware of the potential damage this is causing to our health. Stress is often referred to as ‘the Silent Killer’ as many health symptoms go unnoticed until it is too late to address them.
Prolonged stress has been linked to the following health issues:
•Heart disease
•Heart attack
•Stroke
•Increased blood pressure
•Decreased immune system function
•Obesity
Poper stress management, including the management of one’s financial health can reduce or prevent many of these health conditions.
Creating Your Own Commitment for Financial Change
Now that you have considered some of the reasons behind why you should create your personal commitment for change, it is important to actually create an official document. Those individuals who write down goals and commitment statements are significantly more likely to achieve them.
You can become debt free! But, you must understand why you are willing to make this financial change. And, you must make a realistic personal commitment to taking action.
About the Author: Debt got you by the throat? I will help! My book, Turning Debt into Wealth, is the perfect guide to gaining control over your finances. Save time and money, slash Your Debt starting today! Help is waiting for you at Turning Your Debt Into Wealth
Source: www.isnare.com
Permanent Link: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=466644&ca=Finances
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Take Control, Part Five
To Succeed, You Must Let Others Control You at Times
Control is so far from being bad that a person who is sane and in very good condition does not resent good, positive control and is himself able to administer* good, positive control to people and objects.
A person who is not in very good condition resents even the most casual directions and is actually not capable of controlling people or objects. The latter person is also inefficient and has many difficulties with work and with life.
When a person cannot control things or when he resists things controlling him he involves himself with difficulties not only with people but with objects. It is also apparent that people with control difficulties more readily become ill and fail in other ways.
How do you feel when people give you orders or directions?
For example, if you are a business owner or executive, you need to let your staff members control your time. For example, they may need to set your appointments or control where you go and who you see. If you don't let them control your time, you can become overwhelmed and inefficient.
As another example, a husband asks his wife to handle the family finances. Yet when she tries to control his spending, he argues about it. He spends the money however he likes despite his wife's efforts to control spending.
The couple's credit goes bad. They constantly fight. They blame money problems for their marriage problems when the real problem is with his inability to be controlled.
You see examples of this every day. A young man leaves the Army because he hates being bossed around. He tries to work at a car dealership, but leaves because he hates being bossed around. He fails at several other jobs as he hates control. He can't even stand driving a truck as shippers want to control him.
If you have a problem with control, you might feel a reactive irritation or anger when someone tries to control you. You may think being controlled is a sign of weakness or failure. You see no benefit to being controlled.
Yet if you decide to let someone help you, you must then let them control you.
For example, a dental patient needs help with her bad teeth and lets the dentist control her dental care. A failing basketball player needs help with his shooting and lets his coach control his practice routine. A business owner with low profit accepts help from a consultant and lets the consultant guide his actions.
If the person who is controlling you also knows how to use control, as described in the previous four articles on control, you succeed.
Receiving Good, Positive Control
Positive control is not forced on you. You trust that the person wishes you success, not harm. You know his or her control is for your benefit.
Positive control from others can improve all parts of your life. For example, a good accountant controls you to stay on the right side of the tax laws. If you are a professional singer, your agent controls you to improve your income. If you are an employee, your boss controls you to improve your performance.
Husbands and wives must give and accept control from each other. Parents need to let their children control them at times. Even managers must let employees control them when it is right for the group. Positive control moves you in a positive direction. You end up with more money, success and joy than if you tried to keep control a one-way street.
You happily accept control when you know it is for your benefit.
We all need to give and receive control to get the most from life.
Summary: All Five Steps to Taking Control
“The whole feeling of self-confidence and competence actually derives from one's ability to control or leave uncontrolled the various items and people in his surroundings.” -- L. Ron Hubbard
1. Take a look at all your areas of worry and stress. Make a list of the situations in which you feel a lack of confidence or competence. Include all aspects of your job or life in which you need better control. List your concerns down the left side of a page. Leave room next to each problem to write solutions.
2. Now check if some of these problems are far outside your zone of operation. Last week's article, “Take Control, Part Four” addressed the need to stop trying to control these problems. Write, “Stop trying to control this” next to each of these. You can still have some influence on these matters if you wish, and you may extend your responsibility and sphere of control some day. Yet for now, if it is not your responsibility to control it, stop trying.
3. For the remaining problems, ask yourself if you should be letting someone else control you somehow. If so, write what types of control you need to accept, even encourage, from others. Plan to tell them.
4. With the remaining problems, write if the problem is with you starting something, changing something or stopping something. This was covered in “Taking Control, Part Three.”
Then write down what you could do. How could you start it or change it or stop it? What else could you do?
5. Carry out your plan for each problem and you will take control of your success, your life and your future!
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Take Control, Part Four
Take Control, Part Four
If You Try to Control People or Things Outside Your Sphere of Operation, You Get Problems
However, control in itself is not an entire answer to everything, for if it were one would have to be able to control everything, not only in his own job, but in an office or on earth, before he could be happy.
When an individual attempts to extend control far beyond his active interest in a job or in life he encounters difficulty.
Thus there is obviously another factor involved than control. This factor is willingness not to control and is fully as important as control itself.
For example, when the manager of Department A tries to control employees in Department B, problems come up. As long as he sticks to controlling his sphere of operation, which is Department A, all is well.
You may have felt overwhelmed in the past when you tried to control something that was not part of your sphere of operation. If it is not your responsibility, why bother?
For example, list all the things he you are concerned about.
● Business income is down
● The roof is leaking in the office building
● Your son or daughter is having problems at college in another state
● Your community club meetings are irregular
● Your quarterly tax payments are late
Are you trying to fix all of these problems without success?
Only the first problem is in your sphere of operation. All the other problems were outside your zone.
The landlord was in charge of the roof.
The son/daughter is on their own.
You are not in charge of the community club meetings.
Your accountant will negotiate a deal with the Internal Revenue Service.
While it would be wonderful if you could control all of these problems, you need to change your mind and let others control them.
As soon as you realize this, you will relax. You’ll be able to focused the income and soon solve the first problem.
Meanwhile, the landlord will install the new roof. Your child will realize he/she is responsible for their own success, good or bad, and start doing better. You can stop attending the community club meetings and your accountant will solve the IRS problem.
People may try to make you control things outside your zone of operation. You must refuse. Three examples:
Someone asks you for a loan to pay his bills. You say, “While I'm sorry you can't pay your bills, I'm not going to pay them for you. You need to solve this yourself.”
Your sister sees your grandson watching television and tells you, “Don't let him watch TV.” You say, “I agree he shouldn't watch TV, but he's my daughter's son, not mine.”
Your boss asks you to go fix the sales problem with another department. You say, “Even though I'm the domestic sales manager, I'll be happy to fix the international sales department . . . if you promote me to Vice President of Worldwide Sales.”
Recommendations
1. Make a list of areas in your life that are difficult for you to control.
2. Add a list of things that bother you to the first list.
3. Circle all the items that are outside your sphere of operation.
4. Decide to stop trying to control these circled items. Let them go.
5. Work on the remaining items on your list as you can control them.
For example, a coworker slurps his coffee each morning. It drives you crazy! You drop hints and make jokes, but he still slurps away.
You realize the coworker's noise is outside your sphere of operation and so you stop all efforts to make him stop slurping. You focus on your job instead. You soon realize you don't care about the slurping noise any longer. No more stress!
If You Try to Control People or Things Outside Your Sphere of Operation, You Get Problems
However, control in itself is not an entire answer to everything, for if it were one would have to be able to control everything, not only in his own job, but in an office or on earth, before he could be happy.
When an individual attempts to extend control far beyond his active interest in a job or in life he encounters difficulty.
Thus there is obviously another factor involved than control. This factor is willingness not to control and is fully as important as control itself.
For example, when the manager of Department A tries to control employees in Department B, problems come up. As long as he sticks to controlling his sphere of operation, which is Department A, all is well.
You may have felt overwhelmed in the past when you tried to control something that was not part of your sphere of operation. If it is not your responsibility, why bother?
For example, list all the things he you are concerned about.
● Business income is down
● The roof is leaking in the office building
● Your son or daughter is having problems at college in another state
● Your community club meetings are irregular
● Your quarterly tax payments are late
Are you trying to fix all of these problems without success?
Only the first problem is in your sphere of operation. All the other problems were outside your zone.
The landlord was in charge of the roof.
The son/daughter is on their own.
You are not in charge of the community club meetings.
Your accountant will negotiate a deal with the Internal Revenue Service.
While it would be wonderful if you could control all of these problems, you need to change your mind and let others control them.
As soon as you realize this, you will relax. You’ll be able to focused the income and soon solve the first problem.
Meanwhile, the landlord will install the new roof. Your child will realize he/she is responsible for their own success, good or bad, and start doing better. You can stop attending the community club meetings and your accountant will solve the IRS problem.
People may try to make you control things outside your zone of operation. You must refuse. Three examples:
Someone asks you for a loan to pay his bills. You say, “While I'm sorry you can't pay your bills, I'm not going to pay them for you. You need to solve this yourself.”
Your sister sees your grandson watching television and tells you, “Don't let him watch TV.” You say, “I agree he shouldn't watch TV, but he's my daughter's son, not mine.”
Your boss asks you to go fix the sales problem with another department. You say, “Even though I'm the domestic sales manager, I'll be happy to fix the international sales department . . . if you promote me to Vice President of Worldwide Sales.”
Recommendations
1. Make a list of areas in your life that are difficult for you to control.
2. Add a list of things that bother you to the first list.
3. Circle all the items that are outside your sphere of operation.
4. Decide to stop trying to control these circled items. Let them go.
5. Work on the remaining items on your list as you can control them.
For example, a coworker slurps his coffee each morning. It drives you crazy! You drop hints and make jokes, but he still slurps away.
You realize the coworker's noise is outside your sphere of operation and so you stop all efforts to make him stop slurping. You focus on your job instead. You soon realize you don't care about the slurping noise any longer. No more stress!
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Take Control, Part Three
Your Control Problems Are Caused by Your Weaknesses with Starting, Changing or Stopping
“Franticness, helplessness, incompetence, inefficiency and other undesirable factors in a job are all traceable to inabilities to start, change and stop things.”
“No business can succeed unless it has been properly started, unless it is progressing through time or changing position in space and unless it is capable of stopping harmful practices and even competitors.”
“Thus the secret of doing a good job is the secret of control itself. One not only continues to create a job, day by day, week by week, month by month, he also continues the job by permitting it to progress, and he is also capable of stopping or ending any cycle of work and letting it remain finished.” from The Problems of Work
To improve your control, you strengthen the part of control that is most difficult for you. To do this, start by identifying your weakest part. Which is most difficult for you: starting, changing or stopping?
Signs You Have Difficulties Starting Things
You have many ideas that you never implement. You make notes and even write down plans, but you never start them.
You may even obtain the material you need to do a job, but do not start it. For example, you buy the tools and materials to build a dog house, but never actually start to build the dog house.
You might have big goals, great plans or incredible dreams, but you never take that first step.
Signs You Have Difficulties Changing Things
You may take the first step on a work project, but you never get much done.
You might leave things incomplete. For example, you paint a wall with the first coat, but never get around to putting on the second coat.
You might follow the same routine you learned in school or have had for years, even though you know a better way exists.
You possibly make big resolutions every New Year and do well for a day or two. Yet you never really make the change.
Signs You Have Difficulties Stopping Things
You probably have bad habits that you cannot break. You might say, “I just can't stop myself.”
You may hate to throw things away, even if they are useless. Your closets are stuffed with worthless junk.
If you force yourself to finish a project, you are likely to leave your tools lying around as you hate to clean up after yourself.
If you are a boss, you take too long to fire employees, even though they deserve it. Stopping people, who are damaging your operation, may be difficult for you. You may also have a hard time ending bad relationships or forgiving people.
When you give a job or object to someone, you have a hard time leaving him or her alone. You can't stop possessing the responsibility or the object.
Signs You Are Fixated on Start, Change or Stop
Control is also difficult if you are fixated or obsessed with starting, changing or stopping things.
For example, you are constantly starting new programs or projects. Every week or so you start a new project or two. Unfortunately, they do you no good as you or your group cannot complete all the things you start.
Or you are constantly changing things. You do not like the way things are. You are never satisfied. Unfortunately, you end up changing things that should be left alone.
Or maybe you like to stop things a little too much. Your first reaction to any change is to stop it or end it. If you are a boss, you fire people too quickly. You throw things away you later need. Or maybe you feel like a police officer and constantly try to stop bad things from happening. Unfortunately, you end up stopping good things, as well.
Recommendations
1. Determine your biggest problem: starting things, changing things or stopping things.
2. Write down how you can improve this weakness this week.
3. As you make these improvements, notice how your control improves.
4. Keep working on your weakest areas until you enjoy more success. When you can easily and effectively start, change and stop things when they need to be started, changed or stopped, you are in control.
Remember the most important aspect of your life that you can control is your thoughts.
“Franticness, helplessness, incompetence, inefficiency and other undesirable factors in a job are all traceable to inabilities to start, change and stop things.”
“No business can succeed unless it has been properly started, unless it is progressing through time or changing position in space and unless it is capable of stopping harmful practices and even competitors.”
“Thus the secret of doing a good job is the secret of control itself. One not only continues to create a job, day by day, week by week, month by month, he also continues the job by permitting it to progress, and he is also capable of stopping or ending any cycle of work and letting it remain finished.” from The Problems of Work
To improve your control, you strengthen the part of control that is most difficult for you. To do this, start by identifying your weakest part. Which is most difficult for you: starting, changing or stopping?
Signs You Have Difficulties Starting Things
You have many ideas that you never implement. You make notes and even write down plans, but you never start them.
You may even obtain the material you need to do a job, but do not start it. For example, you buy the tools and materials to build a dog house, but never actually start to build the dog house.
You might have big goals, great plans or incredible dreams, but you never take that first step.
Signs You Have Difficulties Changing Things
You may take the first step on a work project, but you never get much done.
You might leave things incomplete. For example, you paint a wall with the first coat, but never get around to putting on the second coat.
You might follow the same routine you learned in school or have had for years, even though you know a better way exists.
You possibly make big resolutions every New Year and do well for a day or two. Yet you never really make the change.
Signs You Have Difficulties Stopping Things
You probably have bad habits that you cannot break. You might say, “I just can't stop myself.”
You may hate to throw things away, even if they are useless. Your closets are stuffed with worthless junk.
If you force yourself to finish a project, you are likely to leave your tools lying around as you hate to clean up after yourself.
If you are a boss, you take too long to fire employees, even though they deserve it. Stopping people, who are damaging your operation, may be difficult for you. You may also have a hard time ending bad relationships or forgiving people.
When you give a job or object to someone, you have a hard time leaving him or her alone. You can't stop possessing the responsibility or the object.
Signs You Are Fixated on Start, Change or Stop
Control is also difficult if you are fixated or obsessed with starting, changing or stopping things.
For example, you are constantly starting new programs or projects. Every week or so you start a new project or two. Unfortunately, they do you no good as you or your group cannot complete all the things you start.
Or you are constantly changing things. You do not like the way things are. You are never satisfied. Unfortunately, you end up changing things that should be left alone.
Or maybe you like to stop things a little too much. Your first reaction to any change is to stop it or end it. If you are a boss, you fire people too quickly. You throw things away you later need. Or maybe you feel like a police officer and constantly try to stop bad things from happening. Unfortunately, you end up stopping good things, as well.
Recommendations
1. Determine your biggest problem: starting things, changing things or stopping things.
2. Write down how you can improve this weakness this week.
3. As you make these improvements, notice how your control improves.
4. Keep working on your weakest areas until you enjoy more success. When you can easily and effectively start, change and stop things when they need to be started, changed or stopped, you are in control.
Remember the most important aspect of your life that you can control is your thoughts.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Take Control, Part Two
“Control consists entirely of starting, changing and stopping. There are no other factors in positive control. If one can start something, change its position in space or existence in time and stop it, all at will, he can be said to control it, whatever it may be. If one can barely manage to start something, can only with difficulty continue its change of position or existence in time and if one can only doubtfully stop something, he cannot be said to control it well, and for our purposes he would be said to be able to control it poorly or dangerously. If he cannot start something, if he cannot change its position in space, if he cannot stop something, then he is definitely not in control of it.”
Start
If you are a boss, a parent or a leader, you know how difficult it can be to control others. Yet when you control people properly, they like it!
People feel satisfied when you control them properly. You start them, allow them to make changes and then stop them when they are finished.
“Jill, please bring me the red pen . . .” (Start) “. . . and put it right there.” (Change) “Thank you very much.” (Stop)
People do not like you to control them when you mess up any of the three points.
For example, if a business does not start its employees by telling them when they should arrive for work, people just start work when they get around to it. The late starters irritate the prompt starters. Some might not start at all. The business is a messy confusion.
So if you want to control a group or an individual, you need to give a clean “START” and then let them get on with it. “Everyone must be here at 8:00 AM for staff meeting. Not 8:01! We will start the meeting at 8:00.” Of course, you then make sure the meeting starts exactly at 8:00.
Change
Once you start someone, you create problems if you prevent the change portion of the cycle. For example, you tell one of your staff members, “Dave, please sweep up this room.”
Just as he gets out the broom, you say, “Dave, you need to file these papers right now.”
After he files a few papers, you say, “Hurry Dave, go get me a box!”
You earn better cooperation if you let people complete the change without interruption.
“Dave, please sweep up this room.”
Stop
The final mistake you can make when controlling people is not stopping them. For example, you fail to notice they are done and do not acknowledge them for finishing. If you do not stop people, they may tend to keep working on the project indefinitely.
For example, you say, “You swept up the room very well.”
If you don't stop the cycle, you lose control. By cleanly stopping the cycle, you complete your control on that matter. People are now open to your next cycle of control. You are in charge.
When people discover that you cleanly start, change and stop them, you can ask and obtain more and more from them. You can give complicated instructions, long lists of tasks and major projects. They feel comfortable with your control as they know you will let them complete the work and acknowledge them when they are done.
Some people believe you need to use fear, force or threats to control people. The government and certain institutions get a bad reputation for using fear and threat. This type of control makes you feel like you are a slave.
A business manager runs into trouble when he tries the same type of control. His or her employees revolt!
Fortunately, you will find that using the information in this article will put you in much better control than fear, force or threats. Simply start, change and stop people, cheerfully, cleanly and consistently.
Exercise
1. Write down the name of someone you want to control.
2. Write what end result you want the person to accomplish.
3. Plan how you will:
A. Start him or her
B. Allow or direct the needed changes or activities
C. Bring him or her to a stop
4. Finally, follow the steps of your plan.
Example:
1. You want to control your 10-year-old son, Joey. He gets upset when you tell him to clean his room.
2. You want Joey to clean up his room when you ask and without any drama.
3. You work out your plan.
A. You get him to agree on a time to start. “Joey, in 10 minutes, I'd like you to start cleaning up your room.”
B. You will direct the change part of the cycle by watching and helping, as needed. “You're doing a good job Joey. Let's look under the bed now . . . “
C. You acknowledge his good work. “Joey, that is a really clean room! Good job!”
4. You then follow your plan. Joey calms down, cleans his room and feels proud of himself.
Example:
1. The only person who understands your computer is also a jerk. Russ is constantly complaining about your old equipment.
2. The end result that you want is that Russ does his job without complaining.
3. You work out your plan.
A. You decide on how to get Russ to start. “Russ, instead of just showing up this week, can you start at 10:30 on Wednesday? Great.”
B. You plan on how to change Russ. “Russ, I know our equipment is old which is why we need your help. Instead of complaining, it would be great if we could just make it work, okay?”
C. You plan on how to stop Russ. “Russ, you did a great job. I'll take it from here. Thanks.”
4. You implement your plan with Russ. At first, he is resistive to your control. But you persist and gain small pieces of control until you are successfully starting, changing and stopping Russ. You are soon in control of the relationship.
So starting with step 1, who would you like to control?
Start
If you are a boss, a parent or a leader, you know how difficult it can be to control others. Yet when you control people properly, they like it!
People feel satisfied when you control them properly. You start them, allow them to make changes and then stop them when they are finished.
“Jill, please bring me the red pen . . .” (Start) “. . . and put it right there.” (Change) “Thank you very much.” (Stop)
People do not like you to control them when you mess up any of the three points.
For example, if a business does not start its employees by telling them when they should arrive for work, people just start work when they get around to it. The late starters irritate the prompt starters. Some might not start at all. The business is a messy confusion.
So if you want to control a group or an individual, you need to give a clean “START” and then let them get on with it. “Everyone must be here at 8:00 AM for staff meeting. Not 8:01! We will start the meeting at 8:00.” Of course, you then make sure the meeting starts exactly at 8:00.
Change
Once you start someone, you create problems if you prevent the change portion of the cycle. For example, you tell one of your staff members, “Dave, please sweep up this room.”
Just as he gets out the broom, you say, “Dave, you need to file these papers right now.”
After he files a few papers, you say, “Hurry Dave, go get me a box!”
You earn better cooperation if you let people complete the change without interruption.
“Dave, please sweep up this room.”
Stop
The final mistake you can make when controlling people is not stopping them. For example, you fail to notice they are done and do not acknowledge them for finishing. If you do not stop people, they may tend to keep working on the project indefinitely.
For example, you say, “You swept up the room very well.”
If you don't stop the cycle, you lose control. By cleanly stopping the cycle, you complete your control on that matter. People are now open to your next cycle of control. You are in charge.
When people discover that you cleanly start, change and stop them, you can ask and obtain more and more from them. You can give complicated instructions, long lists of tasks and major projects. They feel comfortable with your control as they know you will let them complete the work and acknowledge them when they are done.
Some people believe you need to use fear, force or threats to control people. The government and certain institutions get a bad reputation for using fear and threat. This type of control makes you feel like you are a slave.
A business manager runs into trouble when he tries the same type of control. His or her employees revolt!
Fortunately, you will find that using the information in this article will put you in much better control than fear, force or threats. Simply start, change and stop people, cheerfully, cleanly and consistently.
Exercise
1. Write down the name of someone you want to control.
2. Write what end result you want the person to accomplish.
3. Plan how you will:
A. Start him or her
B. Allow or direct the needed changes or activities
C. Bring him or her to a stop
4. Finally, follow the steps of your plan.
Example:
1. You want to control your 10-year-old son, Joey. He gets upset when you tell him to clean his room.
2. You want Joey to clean up his room when you ask and without any drama.
3. You work out your plan.
A. You get him to agree on a time to start. “Joey, in 10 minutes, I'd like you to start cleaning up your room.”
B. You will direct the change part of the cycle by watching and helping, as needed. “You're doing a good job Joey. Let's look under the bed now . . . “
C. You acknowledge his good work. “Joey, that is a really clean room! Good job!”
4. You then follow your plan. Joey calms down, cleans his room and feels proud of himself.
Example:
1. The only person who understands your computer is also a jerk. Russ is constantly complaining about your old equipment.
2. The end result that you want is that Russ does his job without complaining.
3. You work out your plan.
A. You decide on how to get Russ to start. “Russ, instead of just showing up this week, can you start at 10:30 on Wednesday? Great.”
B. You plan on how to change Russ. “Russ, I know our equipment is old which is why we need your help. Instead of complaining, it would be great if we could just make it work, okay?”
C. You plan on how to stop Russ. “Russ, you did a great job. I'll take it from here. Thanks.”
4. You implement your plan with Russ. At first, he is resistive to your control. But you persist and gain small pieces of control until you are successfully starting, changing and stopping Russ. You are soon in control of the relationship.
So starting with step 1, who would you like to control?
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