Take Control, Part Four

Take Control, Part Four

If You Try to Control People or Things Outside Your Sphere of Operation, You Get Problems

However, control in itself is not an entire answer to everything, for if it were one would have to be able to control everything, not only in his own job, but in an office or on earth, before he could be happy.

When an individual attempts to extend control far beyond his active interest in a job or in life he encounters difficulty.

Thus there is obviously another factor involved than control. This factor is willingness not to control and is fully as important as control itself.

For example, when the manager of Department A tries to control employees in Department B, problems come up. As long as he sticks to controlling his sphere of operation, which is Department A, all is well.

You may have felt overwhelmed in the past when you tried to control something that was not part of your sphere of operation. If it is not your responsibility, why bother?

For example, list all the things he you are concerned about.

● Business income is down
● The roof is leaking in the office building
● Your son or daughter is having problems at college in another state
● Your community club meetings are irregular
● Your quarterly tax payments are late

Are you trying to fix all of these problems without success?

Only the first problem is in your sphere of operation. All the other problems were outside your zone.

The landlord was in charge of the roof.

The son/daughter is on their own.

You are not in charge of the community club meetings.

Your accountant will negotiate a deal with the Internal Revenue Service.

While it would be wonderful if you could control all of these problems, you need to change your mind and let others control them.

As soon as you realize this, you will relax. You’ll be able to focused the income and soon solve the first problem.

Meanwhile, the landlord will install the new roof. Your child will realize he/she is responsible for their own success, good or bad, and start doing better. You can stop attending the community club meetings and your accountant will solve the IRS problem.

People may try to make you control things outside your zone of operation. You must refuse. Three examples:

Someone asks you for a loan to pay his bills. You say, “While I'm sorry you can't pay your bills, I'm not going to pay them for you. You need to solve this yourself.”

Your sister sees your grandson watching television and tells you, “Don't let him watch TV.” You say, “I agree he shouldn't watch TV, but he's my daughter's son, not mine.”

Your boss asks you to go fix the sales problem with another department. You say, “Even though I'm the domestic sales manager, I'll be happy to fix the international sales department . . . if you promote me to Vice President of Worldwide Sales.”

Recommendations

1. Make a list of areas in your life that are difficult for you to control.

2. Add a list of things that bother you to the first list.

3. Circle all the items that are outside your sphere of operation.

4. Decide to stop trying to control these circled items. Let them go.

5. Work on the remaining items on your list as you can control them.

For example, a coworker slurps his coffee each morning. It drives you crazy! You drop hints and make jokes, but he still slurps away.

You realize the coworker's noise is outside your sphere of operation and so you stop all efforts to make him stop slurping. You focus on your job instead. You soon realize you don't care about the slurping noise any longer. No more stress!